Aug 17-19 2018
Okay, it is is a fun filled weekend (similar to Woodstock or Field Days) but on private property. It is mostly youth and adult oriented as young children being up all night outdoors with loud music, smoking, drinking (possibly other drugs) would just not be a good combo. Mostly go during the day but don’t stay past the main event as things tend to go crazy if things get out of control. If you have to have a tent/camper/vehicle and claim your spot if you plan to stay the weekend, it is first come first served and the main night is Saturday night (and crazy all-nighters, too)
They do local bands, and have been for 10 years which I attended 6 of them. This is the first without Jessie, which kind of pains me the most, not even sure if I would even attend future events, depending on my own life….
Most times had no issues, but a couple of years, something strange happens and I usually have no recollection of (more on that later) anything of the sort other than passing out on van futon and waking up in the morning to either get dropped off at home by Andrew, who was my high school sweetheart, after going for Smitty’s for breakfast (2013-14) leave to go to work the next morning (2015-17) and pick up the rest of the final clearance that was left that I desired or waited for is now just now so cheap you cannot say no! And this year… I worked the closing shift, 2-7:30 in the freezing room because things from there were just not… Working… Well barely enough to get there and function, but that is that and that’s about it.
…Well… This year was different… I took something to the next level… And I apologize for this now, though in years I have heard Andrew ramble on that they will cancel Joe’s Garage or that they have banned me. At this point, I do not blame them, if I was to watch what I have done (albeit possessed) to really be honest. I really was off character at this, and I do not recall drinking taking additional drug that interacted with my prescription. As you may or may not know, death from drug interactions is possible… Depends on the knowledge of those taken various routes, times, amounts, and types Ostensibly, it happened… I have told others in the past, my body is a ouija board and can act as a sort of portal. In the event it comes to interact with another…. Could see all the components… Yes… I was out of my mind… But the empty it was in was peaceful… It just wasn’t… It was a blur, went off account off of others who were there, looking for consistency with what that other aspect of myself through the thick fog that was my recollection.
I could not recall having had Dalton (AKA Apolo, the mediator) resuscitate me after breathing/HR stopped a minute. I cannot recall myself thanking him for saving my life… None of it, and perhaps it was better that way. I really was not myself, so let’s just use saying. I would have been embarrassed to see myself in this fashion. You may say I’m crazy but I never wanted to have been stressed sick, leading up with anxiety (*sigh* and I lost control and I apologize to everyone involved and to those who think of me as close and having the thought that well.. I would never have returned from the weekend…) Threatened me afterwards with intervention but I said it is handled and if they were to escalate the problem, they would have, when only getting assumptions from friends which do not understand the story and thrown addiction in the mix and then followed by a series of disappointed talking from my mother, who really cannot handle it so I would have seen it that she’s the last to know. I have expressed this before, Her idea is for me to exist, not mine and I said I’m not attached so I really could leave at any time… Its a matter of people wanting me to stay.
There is an element of self which acts as the voice of reasons, if your talking to yourself really have enlightening answers. That part that reached out for help even when the other side wants to die because it never wanted to be and mere existence is painful, isolate in darkness, and transfer living vicariously.Though I have pulled through, I went to the chiropractor the following Monday and how many times must he be pulling my leg (double entendre) saying that I really should not tell. So not much else than punny update.
Mind was too bitter and concentrated to water down and sugar coat the lemons of life so instead It took a vacation from self and set itself autopilot but it got hacked and the hacker just wants to take a variety of drugs such as previously prescribed antidepressants, (previously prescribed, but higher dose) Xanax, Cannabis (currently prescribed) , 13 ounces of rum or whiskey (which I cannot recall, but half the bottle was said to have been consumed in what they described as a hostile altered state and I cannot confirm or deny any additional details) other than consuming more than what would normally be necessary to combat anxiety and promote calm, of the Cannabis & Xanax but spanned over a couple hours with plenty of lemon water in between…. Which goes back to the beginning, when it is not the lemon itself in which is the problem, you could try to add a zing to life with something large and perhaps some…
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