Okay, so as many of you know I am doing a contest! Practically it is this on steroids (don’t worry we don’t actually use steroids) as you get a month worth (cup a day, 30 days) of delicious 100% natural amino-powered neurotropic dark roast coffee! Tune on to Saturday Morning call to hear how it all started, where it is going and how it can be your answer!
Birthday 🎂 Announcements!
My father is celebrating today!
Shoutout as he is the engineer who founded and is the CEO of Pillar Systems! Here is a screenshot snip of the home page. Now everyone knows that this is in my blood it is time to build something amazing. You do not have to finish today but you still have to plan it out and stick with your program. Spectators may marvel the masterpiece but they will never fully appreciate it unless those behind the scenes do.
For some reason or another Thursday gone and past…. I was once so depressed that the term BlueGuru had kinda stuck.. have said if there was one thing I was really good at was being sad but even that was complex. Those who knew me would say I was always happy. Those that really knew me would say she likes to be happy, however that was often a mask. Fake A smile it works, and you end up actually feeling better doing so. I took that advice as I took many things, it was often less painful than coming out to that older person and disclosing the fact you were so sad that you feel sick.
I did not like not really saying how it was but any other attempt at happiness was futile until I actually had some locus of control. Well in the least in order the internal locus of control that was my own emotions. Now as a spectator of what was then, finally time to rejoice hat it was no longer my reality. I may still have vertigo from the mental gymnastics I imposed on myself. I no longer have to make a liability of myself or making loved ones hurt because I was suffering an invisible assailant or procrastinating my death because someone wished for me to continue was stronger than my own urge to cut my losses… Well plus my life…. It was for someone else, and that very notion made me sick as I personally think that it is important in knowing that the other person sees the positivity in the intention behind actions and seeing symmetry between loved ones wanting me to enjoy my life and working alongside constructively rekindling my own desire and will to live instead of something done to me. Once my head stops spinning I can liberate, let go of the mask and no more faking.
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