➕ Sum Sunday ➕
I guess I asked for it. All I wanted was peace in this house but all I see is a place reminiscing its days of soft tranquility prior to battle. What is left is a shell representing its former self, rich with beautiful and vivid memories juxtaposed with some of the ugliest of realities. As they say, life is a beautiful lie, and death is a painful truth. I have lost a friend, and this particular person has been a part of my life for about half my life, and has been through the good and the bad, and what bothers me the most was how it all ended.
It ended violently, I was in that mindset that I was fixating over some recent events at work which led me to question how good of a fit I really was. I guess in more ways than one, values shift in their interpretation and I was considering seeking therapy due to the negative impact it has had on my mindset. I cannot focus on much else, its like watching a car crash in slow motion, you are uncomfortable watching it, but somehow you must keep looking. I invited my Fiance over for comfort, I made food and we were generally successful with at least temporarily shift my focus from the grievances of my place of employment. I got hit with the door by my ex friend in my final state, and I responded while looking at my Fiance “I am this close to sending him home.”
He screetched while his voice was cracking “I’m out!”
I responded without skipping a beat, “I need a smoke.” well he didn’t like that I essentially last minute canceled, but I’m in no condition at the time to be out. I also got to the point where it got so stressful that I became forgetful, and now I need some of my medical to help ease my body, which felt as though lightning was passing through it. I was seeing stars and threats of syncope. I sat in my chair for a time as I overwrote those plans to see Detective Pikachu in favor of cuddles and YouTube. My now ex friend actually punched my fiance in the center of his forehead, it made it very easy for me to say, “You’re not my friend anymore! I am going to have to ask you to leave my property now and never return.” It was like we all knew, even before this incident that SOMETHING has happened and there is no fixing that. I just have urges now to block him in real life, and pronounce the relationship dead.
He got really desperate in the end with saying that he will accept any punishment that he deserves. My mother, who owns the house has decided to blacklist him, it was clearly audible by everyone there. He is no longer invited to this location and even if he’s found near, then I have no other course but to call law enforcement. I wish I could say the same about the former tenant that comes around to do yard work occasionally, yep the one that made death threats against me and matched it with violence, yep even said that his violence straightened out my brother. How does it make any sense that he gets to stick around and make all these condescending remarks towards everyone else near constant? He openly blamed me for the recent turn of events and how it would have been better if I had made different arrangements, I just want peace so I left. Set myself out to a new path in life, because sticking around meant I was on a track to abuse instead of…
Tags: #Sadness, #Broken