🌟🖤 Salica’s Saturday 🖤🌟
Tags: #Psychology, #BrainStorm
Picture this, if you will:
Thoughts are experiencing quantum entanglement where each superimpose into another. As a film has frames and each frame presents a still. That is cute, actually now as each film each has their own motion pictures within the supposed stills. Most people can only process them as a still, so they may be troubled when they realize that they simply cannot process the information as a moving still – as oxymoric as it gets. In these situations, it is often described as feeling as sharp as a butter knife to know that there are countless thoughts that occur here simultaneously and even nested in another like Russian Dolls. It is as though each film here is a train of thought, though there are no track, it simply hovers in paths in various directions and each frame may present itself as the cars as different frames of thinking or even matters on how that concept may head. Each car tells a story that supports the commanding thought and the conclusion trails like a caboose. Though now there are several trains with several cars each with clusters that may be compartmentalized as one may arrange sentences within a paragraph within a piece of literature. Jennavine calls it “cognitive entanglement” which is a common phenomenon by which a concepts blend and eventually blur the lines of one idea to the next. The result is a distortion that can alter your perception in a number of ways – similar to how one can get their lions crossed but in ways may warp frusterations into moments of an unbridaled cathartic response. Some may say, it is wise not to provoke this side of me lest they would like a threat. Oh and this is why people often fear “Salica”, though because of history, and the distorted way that I like to conduct myself, however used to have more bloodlust and craved it. No longer; so if you are going to judge, well you are too simple as to be mindless about your prejudices, then simply couldn’t mind you less.
Identity – or the characteristics that one use to symbolize and individual’s unique tendencies. The facinating part is that we are in the midst of a renaissance. Yet, this rebirth is truly a slippery slope on what individualistic traits that we choose to accept. Coming out of the closet this may be troubling to some as we each have a different opinion regarding which is acceptable based on their own limited vantage point. I realize, on the other side of the coin that my perspective may appear to stray towards the abstract.
The truth is – I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every moment of it! I have accepted that fact that I must be myself as everyone else was taken. Yes, that includes a version of myself where I never developed my alters and would then live a relatively average life. Yes, I have voices in my head beyond what is my own thought or what was heard… The mind plays tricks on you, my dear!
People are so quick to jump to conclusions, and I call them out for halucinating their psychology degrees. Though, when it comes to those who are qualified, I usually meet them with “Non-Confidence” . So instead I often found a lot of time was wasted ‘trolling’, to toy with them even further, as I feel the same as they try to build rapport. Most of my understanding of emotion is different than most, I cannot experience many of these emotions as to me they are silly detections with very little meaning. I experience these other emotives vicariously through others, in the least it brings context to something that may not otherwise be appropriate. Though, I am extremely receptive to those that I can experience. It is often so intense, it takes you and posesses away your ability at higher thinking. Imagry biased by your own worldview. It, is in one sense vision, the lens in which one visually recieves input… It may prove unreliable to an outside race if it never evolved to understand the meaning of each bioelectrichemical (leave me alone, I now say it is a word). Surely, a subjective means to interpret data is always inferior in the sense that you can never standardize these results truly as each source is surely biased. In addition, having feelings and emotions can distort your perception of reality – a low grade phychosis. Emotions distort higher thinking and cause a person to percieve things as real though they are abstract. Two can play at that game, so I feign them but in reality most of the time I couldn’t care less. Call me crazy, fine be it your opinion but I am not calling it fact and, you would be batty if you said otherwise.
Let’s play a little game, shall we? Imagine the top half cartesian plane in which there is a parabola & in addition there is a Sin wave with two crests that occupy the visible field in quadrants 1&4 (top half of graph) with the trough in the origin. X| [two symetrical waves which can satisfy the constraints]; X€R & Y| Y >= 0 & [Y constraints are satisfied within those of the crests and trough]; Y€R. Okay, those are abstract definitions there but an individual can define in their own ways using any figure on X axis to represent the frequency and Y represents sensitivity. Dang those mathematicians commit a lot of Sin!
Ever wanted someone to do a voice over of your life like it was described video? I did. To most that may sound weird, but I most certainly can explain. The ways that others look at you, you would think that they have become shook. They advised that with everything else going on, you should be careful what you ask for as you may later be imprisoned as a consequence! I loved the voices; I never wanted to be rid of them. It was my own narrative. Though others be like: “Cut that out, you are driving me crazy!” Fine. I can understand for a bit, they eventually tuned down and just do the important events as that was all that was really cared for. Though I prefer to have that as context and clarity. In fact, they were assuring to that since in time in which regularly having something that validates your senses. So, while others would be driven mad by the voices, the voices drive me away from the madness. It is a perspective by which I have not seen this approach used so widely, in fact people may often question it so much that their narrowmindedness to my coping mechanisms. Oh, yeah plus I break out in sarcasm but I had to baton pass to Jennavine as she has the knack of remaining composure regardless the situation. However much I like to Arsen, I am already hated by Molemy – which to the next point…
Acceptance – Interestingly enough if you are promised that: “You would be accepted as who you are no matter what.” Okay, I was given a blank cheque but I guess she meant just hide behind the facade that we do not also reside here lest others must release themselves of the illusion that they knew me. You don’t know me; you only know that what you saw was an extremely limited selection which is enough to satisfy a person’s understanding of another interpersonally but with enough mystery to keep the magic alive. By the person you trusted the most, would you expect the person you had the closest relationship… To go into hysterics? I am not prepared to handle that, in fact that prospective gives me anxiety. Well, Jennavine came in and took a few breaths… She remained extremely calm and handled that situation like a star! She simply responded: “Perhaps we can all look in the mirror and say that.” Molemy actually paused a molement and sighed “I guess you are right…” Sounding defeated. Knowing my time and place is not now, I resigned to the posterior region of myself.. Salica OUT.
Many say I DID onto myself and have made a psychology joke of me. I have decided to accept my alters no matter what. I do not percieve to be putting myself or others in iminent danger I am going to lead by example, and all I would like at this point is to be accepted. Otherwise I am just going to ask you to stop promises you cannot keep. I like the world outside of the closet, even if it is to the bedroom 😎. I do not wish to play that charade any longer. They say I am broken and even overheard of my past though I have moved on.
Work was SAVAGE but two can play at that game. Interestingly enough two can play and I would have found the hungriest stingiest lawyer to fight my case – that was if it was worth the fight. I am not too sure with the ultimatims, and several other reasons that make me consider the fact that at least that Hospital isn’t my fit and ironically, they hurt me and gave me Sciatica and my hip was subluxed! 🖕 workplace incidents! and the fact it was a temporary position with pay and benifits but they are not worth writing home for so, I digress. I am just going to say 🖕 to this 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕! This is one way one does themselves a favor. Document everything, they say until it gets on your nerves then turn the tables!
Still brainstorming Area 51 because while it may rain on your parade and they cannot stop using all! Meet using deadly force? For these next parts, it may be graphic so if you don’t like that then consider yourself warned. Check! Hey, Mother Nature, give them a knife shower storm! Just flooded still even though the Internet has moved on to other fads. In fact, some may say I used to exchage blades with Mother Nature now they say I jusst do the lady blades with Mother Nature Instead. Practically symbolizes a big fat 🖕 to our weather! Speaking on these trains of thoughts, it felt like I had a shower but replace the water with knives. You have no idea where they will hit but there are several places that it will. You wanna know how come? Well it partially stems from the concept of isolation vs intimacy and well…. I am going to have to introduce Artillery by Infected Mushroom ••
The three-dimensional professional projections of spectral light
Connected room, selection air-tight
The isolated, the decisive, victory stimulated
The non-simulated patterns of flight originated
Now I’m a carnivore on a tour of duty
My band of brothers and full metal jackets establish cruelty
Black magic conjurer, attack through the monitor
Destruction of assumption, one thing I can promise yaIt’s half-cracked with cold shards of glass
Ritualistic annihilators that murder your cast
The future of the past, that last that feel
The seventh seal broken in half, ceremony is realBecome obsolete, high-strung from a beat
A strong minded individual delivering defeat
Blood rivers in the street, keep flowing or retreat
Deep omens keep opponents speech limited repeatYou’re opening the door to the corridor stretching to the left
There’s hunger in my eyes, but the truth is on my chest
I am just a man who wants revenge, and I confess
I am full of rage and sin
Locked inside this cage again
When evil reigns ’cause people like to win
It may seem sweet, but we won’t like the end
So we shine brightly from the light withinYou’re opening the doors to the corridors stretching to the left
Anger within my eyes, but the truth is on my chest
I am just a man who wants revenge and I confess
I am full of rage and sin
Locked inside this cage again
Where evil reigns and people like to win
It may seem sweet, but we won’t like the end
So we shine brightly from the light withinLocked inside this cage again (x4)Turn the music up a bit…Yo, yo…
Dark secrets, demons with a conscience
I’m the Lone Ranger looking for Pocahontas
Teenage zombies flying the beat
I’m dying ’til I’m what I’m trying to be
Go Bad News Bears and the Dukes of Hazzard
The youth of my group is the truth, so have it
Keep myself couped up, recoup quickly
Face still hurts but my kids stick with me
Death loved not far as we go
Crazy face, still not star of the show
I appreciate the chance to hurt, I’ll kill you
Ice pick into your neck, I will do
Talk to you like I might care
Rippled by the nightmare, moonshine distillery
Back road to villiany
Military start at the part with artilleryWith artillery (x14)
With ta ra ta ta ta ta…Locked inside this cage again (x4)
Salica in the house!!! Mnaaaaahhhhhhwwwwwwww! This song gives me very well if there are children around best wait till things start budding before ya talk about that birds and the bees. The light in us symbolizes order and to those who aren’t fallen. As I said, Mathematicians commit a lot of Sin, so if ya can’t do it then get out of the equation! I am isolated, but decisive and I have a blood lust for success.
Ever felt as though you are cast away from yourself, as though you we’re only intended as some forgotten memory? Basically that occured to me, with full on intention that I as Salica will become obsolete as Amy threw me to the back of her mind, essentially went as far as wrote me off as some total pariah. I was forsaken, but perhaps that is good because most are unable to comprehend having me as a roommate. Listen, the rumors of me being a demon is only partially true. I am not all bad, after all as you may say mostly angel. He hehe there is that sense of humor! I called the posterior region the Asylum a lot of the time and the best I can do in there is imagine pleasant nonsense. To somehow amalgamate all into one despite each being unique individuals with their own likes, feelings and perspectives.
I, of course still reside with the head committee. Alas, my dear Jennavine, aren’t you divine when you must intervene? I suppose there are still always those who will size themselves up to determine the level of threat. But nobody likes tha truth – The part where we all end so we use our own benevolence as means of self defence and deny until they are no longer afforded that option. The threat isn’t real, not really percieved in anything founded either. The don’t really like to admit that what they understood of me was carefully fabricated & zombified my youth… Worked for the time being. I am who I am and I am sorry if you do not like what you see, but there isnt a damn thing I am going to do about that. Me, Myself and, I are much better off knowing to avoid you because you are not one I would consider a friend. Jennavine is logical beyond the vast majority and I love her to death! I will die trying to be a better self, shanks to all her help! Amy even said herself that she would trust Jennavine (I call her my dear sexy doctor hehehe gotta have a little fun) with her life and has trusted her for years. Dr. J saved us a number of times and collectively would not be here if it wasn’t for Jennavine!
With minimal interaction with the outside world, a person can easily undermine the extent by which it is possible for things to change. Or even perhaps what one may see as concepts that are beyond that of them. The world moves on regardless on whether you are static. Perception becomes distorted, as looking through medians with various refractory angles. You as yourself take on a unique set of tendencies that are largely divorced from the outside world. From conception to actualization, and through this the interaction with the tangible. In fact, as you finally do experience it it is a rush! Mnahhhh even going towards calling me a psycho case that shouldn’t venture past the padded room. When you gotta a means to the end and no ends to the means and you are sharp n bloody face it They call me the crazy one and I know I am not the star of the show but let’s say when the mind wages war, the neurochemical warfare quite possibly stirred up and nearing the point you wish to retreat from the psychological warfare and fall from grace.
Perhaps that was what they wanted anyways? Locked in this prison shrouded in misunderstanding and without much for solace beyond cumulative Millions with hate but loved by those who are your true family. Having order in your action can define you. I am taking a dignified course through the scenic route. Meanwhile working with Amy towards removing the barriers towards her own prosperity. It will take a while, but one step towards that is having her family accept her for who she is and she has to accept Me, Myself and I once and for all. Though in order leave this rut, you must sharpen up enough to make the cut. ~ What do I say? It was knife to see you having so much…