🗡💥Salica’s Saturday 💥🗡
🗡🎭That CUTS it!🎭🗡
Dr. Jennavine is being threatened?!
🎭➕ Like, she :exists: but you don’t like what you see but your image simply cannot exist as you present as it is infinitely more damaged. I am a whole person, cannot remove components away without affecting the system as a whole. 💯 I’m sorry you don’t like her but I’m not here to serve your happiness and if you are butt hurt about arrangement, then I’m sorry to hurt your delicate snowflake feelings but if you think I’m going to change because of you then you’re sorely mistaken. The heat is on and I’m burning! 🗡💥
What type do they take me as anyways? A façade? Good try, but this is just who I am and I’m cutting the charade. If that means cutting family ties, then so be it. If they cannot love you unconditionally, then they ain’t really there for you when there are rules that once broken, then the relationship is too.
I found a shortlist of people like me who totally accept me as is. These people are considered to be closer than those united by blood. They are open to what they see rather than have me fabricated into someone else! What does that mean? It means me, myself and I are here to stay because it may be hard for you, but there are people out there who love me for me and not for who I am not! Allow me to explain…
💔🖤Ruled by love.🖤💔
Unconditional love is one facade people hold up but in reality, what they really have is conditional love. Follow along and you will fit in. Pity those who fall out of line because if they find out you cannot do that simple task, then they will not have a place for you except trashed at the curb. then Like, the whole prospect of simply :existing: as a multiple can be problematic to someone who has it as it can be exhausting to keep face amongst those who happen to be in your life and don’t understand how it works or that it is as a matter of fact who I am. Simple rule, if blood is involved, it is often messy and something is always sacrificed.
How do you expect me to take that? I’m not a pushover so I’m not going at this lightly. There isn’t in that for me to take a laize faire approach to my disappearance. Nope, I am going down with a fight because I am not spineless like some. I’m a double edge sword, and believe me when I say I make the cut. There is no question about it.
Dr. Mills not only knows about us, but he is open and accepting. He just needed to know we weren’t a danger to ourselves. Not active in that, though I do have a history. Bottom denominator, but it comes down to acknowledgment and acceptance. The struggle is in allowing myself the vulnerability in showing face and not being accepted as a whole for simply having separate conscious/personality states. He’s curious, and interested in my case.
As expected, you get asked about how things are going. Funny, but knowing full well that you will be asking the question, best to spice up the answer a bit. So, in asking the trio that question, expect a few different answers. Interestingly, they are all simultaniously experienced so all are correct. Some aren’t really that great… Ugh withdrawn, concern… Also feeling conflicted because injustice and being largely powerless. You frankly ever get so jaded by everything you no longer give a damn and ready to strike? Mna used the word homicidal… Though I’m not acting on anything though I’m experiencing bloodlust.
He asked a few questions about it, it was like visiting shrink town but I saw the concern in his angle… It doesn’t take an expert, but you gotta fork your tongue in this language. You don’t want to end up in the Loonie Bin, the place where Crazy Canuks go to party but super lame because you realized it was all in your head!
Someone was interested in my inner world, so glowing from rarity, I started painting pictures with my words. I let him in and I gave him a few pieces but he was still puzzled. I know I am different, but you’re reacting like I’m a unique case. Perhaps I am, so I will give him some answers and allow him to decide. He asked whether or not its emotional based or what… Nope, there’s a full spectrum of emotions, but the difference is that each are superimposing one another and they each can have different opinions and beliefs. He asked if I think I will bring harm to myself, which interestingly enough you can say that certain parts have ideation, the system looks out for one another and Jennavine wouldn’t allow me to be in such a position, so rest assured, we are safe. After he asked how I found out, well at first it was hidden from nearly everyone, including me. It took some soul-searching and a lot of questions and working through denial to accepting that this is who , but later in like grade 9 my guidance councilor finally tells me that she noted me blacking out, go under desks and going along as if a cat then later winding up back in my desk or elsewhere with zero recollection. I had gaps in childhood memory and sometimes I have questions that never were answered until I asked around and well of course my lovely Jennavine uncovers all the mystery and replace it with….