🎭➕ Moody Monday 💥🗡
Let’s cut to the Chase already. This article contains offensive language & subject matter that may not be suitable to all audiences. Reader discretion is advised.
Was binging Dr. House again and several episodes make absolutely no sense let’s just say the episode “Dead and Buried“, I really took a liking to it, even down to the name. The way 14 year old girl named Iris looked was a lot like looking in a mirror of a past version of myself… Funny, as there is a parallel in the name to my former selves.
The Head Committee thought that the episode “Dead and Buried” had more depth than initially thought. Iris (14 y/o, F) presenting to the ER with a sudden onset of anaphalaxis that has stumped a few doctors due to its ideopathic origin. Allergies of this nature normally do not present as ideopathic. Cause of the condition presents a zebra masking itself as a horse. Rated an overall 3. The initial presentation seemed quite random, vague and sporadic and easily be regarded as a differential as controversial as that may sound.
There is so much mystery surrounding dissociation, particularly dissociative identity disorder. It could easily be interpreted in a variety of ways because it is so poorly understood. For example, people often dismiss it as merely teen angst or even borderline or schizoid affective personality, antisocial, avoidant, or try to explain it away with any of other personality disorders. Personal experience with a taboo topic also changes perspective but since it is so stigmatized, people just assume you are possessed. Poking a little fun at the pernicious stereotype that this condition makes an antagonist of you is highlighted when the plot thickens and more information about her boyfriend comes to light. Persecutors are a very common component and while not true in all systems, it is certainly plausible to have a case present this way especially if the persecutor(s) have a backstory to underscore their significance to the system (ex. Trauma & abuse). It was definitely a bold move to express the potential of an antagonist personality type, for a variety of reasons as DID is extremely underrepresented and misunderstood. It often lends to the draumatization and undermines the condition as legitimate. Iris’ boyfriend is technically an interject as the individual was based on the one boy that liked her in school. Though it doesn’t explain why or how the particular characteristics of the perpetrator to be significant to the plot or even why he has the characteristics he does beyond allegedly meeting him at school. He is fond of Iris, and Iris grew up in a healthy home environment and it would have been more realistic that he would have largely positive character traits instead. Unless there was a reason that these traits persist, it boils down to dramatization of the conditioner itself which can be damaging to the mental health community. Perhaps pain, though as the car accident she had at 2 initially caused the dissociation due to the trauma of the crash and feeling as though she was at fault for being a distraction. The mother reassures her that she was only a baby and it wasn’t her fault. The tunnel vision is indicitive of dissociation, and that can happen A LOT! Personally, when it happens the peripheral vision darkens and you feel like you are in reverse in your own head, and other times switches are near seamless and the other times I have syncope and pass out. The condition didn’t quite seem consistent, though later evaluation that her physical sympoms paradoxically expands and narrows the story. Pain and suffering especially in silence can explain the characteristics.
Actually, it mirrors me quite a bit, despite having a very difficult presentation. Always being depicted as moody but got worse with puberty. I was the boyfriend, if you will in this story. At some point in my history, I was considered a persecuter but not interjected from anywhere but perhaps Amy in herself and what her subconcious needed to handle the situation. Iris’ boyfriend was interject as well as a persecuter. Iris states she has met her boyfriend in school and that he was the only guy who liked her. Though the relationship she has with herself and her health concerns could also stand to reasons why it seems her boyfriend has two types of people inside him. Iris doesn’t seem to be from the upbringing to be interested in someone who drinks heavily, abusive, and into some hardcore erotica (rape, beastiality and torture).
Too Little, a 2 y/o girl who held the trauma of car crash is an excellent representation of a much more likely scenario. Too Little held the trauma of the accident so Iris wouldn’t have to. It is also easier to develop DID the younger you are. She also had the strawberry allergy and has intermittent anaphylaxis, which is also possible and even points out how certain alerts can respond differently. Too Little constantly relives the trauma of the accident a dozen years ago when she says she has been experiencing parathesia from being in shock from the accident. She was reliving the traumautic experience each time, which is a hallmark of PTSD.
I also found it rather interesting as they mentioned that she has had hormonal issues. The co-morbidity with choreocarcinoma was personally, but indeed cancer is running marathons in my lineage. The crafty ways one can draw parallel connections to your own story. Details don’t even have to be exact, only similar. It connected and related to the dreaded monthly hemmorhagic purge. I have also had many health problems early on which may have started something. Perhaps even House was tame as I was into that stuff that ficticious boyfriend was into since single digits, plus the paranormal. I felt like a wild card at the time to assume no responsibility so I didn’t and conscious is that thing that makes people behave in ways despite lacking a logical reason beyond altruism. I wanted blood and I didn’t care whose, and to shove that scalpel where the sun don’t shine! Cut it all out that’s what it is all about!
Well as a child and while I give this guy props for creating such a character, it threw a wrench due to the inconsistencies presented. The mood is so mood and if I had a shot for every time I was called moody or dramatic, I would win the game! I played a lot of those… The host was considered moody and she never even knew the wiser despite … and pressing the issue especially her impending court date made it worse. You got dismissed with borderline, antisocial and avoidant tendencies. Still, I wore a mask and was pretty good at keeping up my act, I wore Drama Queen like it was a badge of honor!
Amy was sent to testing after I was caught Lion Kinging the kindergardener off monkey bars in grade 4. Basically the name came from the movie “The Lion King” where the scene that the stampede went through the canyon. The little girl fell in slow motion too, just as Mufasa, landed on her back and her head which was a photo finish…. That moment felt like a snap back into a sense of self or sobering and then she felt guilty… Meanwhile, you can say I slinked into the shadows anticipating to add yet another gold star. Way of asserting dominance. Mnahhh or perhaps its letting malevolence take over, or just cut the act because fighting yourself is a dull task. So while I still very much like to play games, I am aware there is a time and a place and that I have the responsibility to act appropriate to the situation. Whatever long shots are made of, I will give it a shot and make it!
Mid teens hit and the family is concerned… The family members caught on to my conversations on Messenger, after looking and they busted into hysterics and even suggested to go full on Bob Larson and threatened a bunch of other exorcisms … Likely Roman Catholic. Thought the beliefs were silly and guess what? Played it off as a joke/role play. Played into it so well and mimiked the correct emotives, they eventually backed off. I wished I was faking it back then, would have made it easier than denying everything.
It left a bad taste and over time, things change. You feel like a stranger to your family because of extreme trust issues caused by betrayal. I adore Dr. J and wanted to be more like her and well she helped me successfully change titles from persecuter to protector/healer. Mnahhh what? Surrounding Amy is a fortress! Inner world (Fate’s Palace) is a fucking palace for crying out loud with its very own erotic dungeon. Even played on the princess in distress game. I would play a version of dress-up that she would lapse and lose time forget it happened but whatever, she is done, “Forget the dress” Being a princess/queen means royalty and with that comes status! Don’t try to rain on my parade and paint my rainbow grey or I will brainstorm on ways to make you go away! Those the host dislike became me for a while, what can I say? True maverick! Or maybe not entirely anymore. It is easier to change a person when they are impressionable rather than baked and molded.
I will talk about how I met Jennavine made therapy feel less like the rest of you feel about rape and in fact she has been regarded as the reason Amy lives on rather than be the perfect plot in a self-inflicted basement crime scene.
Most of you can remember half the shit you end up doing and well being very neurotypical of you; it isn’t even half my story. Sometimes you get a stream of memories, and you’re not sure if they’re real or delusional. In times of uncertainty, it is always good to have connections outside your system. The process is quite grounding and can include witnesses or others you trust to attest to the supposed incident(s).
It can be quite the position in which you have multiple responses and attitudes to view the world through, it can almost send you into a sort of a daydream as you have a stream of memories as you weigh through. The eurekas occur but often is flashed out by mini-blackouts. Sometimes that happens from overcrouding of superimposed thought. It would be like I didn’t hear…. A moment later I swear it is *errrrh* but sometimes another voice which is inconsistent with their tone but it is occasionally heard and then I respond using that voice to support my reaction. The interesting debate rests whether or not DID is even real or not and how it can present itself in many different ways make it a zebra in the sense is often unbeknownst to the host that they are part of a system or if they were aware, then they are clearly faking or being dramatic. It would have been easier to fake having the condition than it it would be to fake not having any or having to kill the others off. Also, there is no trying to fix the dissociative disorder mnahhhhnuh so I also branched out several alters and fragments which have largely integrated back due to lack of nessessity for them to be separate… Fuck it literally. I like House on his opinion of sex as it is a natural biological function that humans should naturally experience. I would like to do it all the time and make it a proud addiction.
Was always told that our natural expressions differ widely, though to the parental units, they never knew! I have the crazy zest of life. Amy bright and Dr. J has deep hypnotizing ones that would send you in a trance.
Let’s be really simple the reactions I receive from other people. While I like several things like the kinky, the medical and the scientific the technical and the history. I have the tendency of feeling like a double edged sword fulfilling the duty of a butter knife. Sometimes being blunt is really just being sharp; it cuts and can be messy but you won’t make a fool of yourself. The surgeon’s scalpel makes the cut for quality medfet! I can be impulsive and even stubborn and sometimes without tact, it isn’t all bad. I have affinity and respect the host and am very protective, “Want to get at her then you gotta get through me!” I can see right through people, slicing their façade like a scalpel on flesh. People also like to make the point of being freaked out by me, they say I am neurotic and cold, and seemingly antisocial. I don’t trust many people, because of their capacity to burden and hurt mainly those seeking their own self-interests. Usually at the host’s expense, she can be too nice to people, and sometimes the Frozen Let It Go song starts playing. Nice juxtaposition, Amy and while I used to despise it and wanted it to go to Hell. Paradoxically, Hell froze over, and I began to find meaning in it. How people call me cold when I give them them the look that make people freeze as I give them the cold shoulder. playing always while I agree with that to some point, I also prefer erotic. Why, you may ask? I like to cheer for both teams, and initially nearly everything sends blood to my loins. Here is where the devil in me says I fetishize everything since and since people say I’m nuts…. Really perhaps you would find it odd that I like the nutcracker.
Still, the host became suicidal, which again is common not because of the condition, but because of co-morbidity of other conditiond and the ailienating feelings from unreceptive family members. Let’s just say Eminem was fucking right about needing a doctor to bring me back to life! Goes to show, sometimes the best healers can come from within.
Then thinking of when the condition(s) worsened to the point that the host fantasized her death. While I appreciate the idea of it and the sombre mood shrouding the motion, and would even admit to making hanky panky of the mere prospect of it. Things gone too far when she impulsively acted on her plans to take her life via gunshot to head (April 12, 2009). She was also experiencing menarche at the time and the conversation of the parental units divorcing and watching her beloved mother nearly get thrown down the stairs cut her so deep. It was no longer her that she said “Fuck it!” Oh and I remembered everything as if reliving parts of it and third person for others.. Unlike her,
Tags: #HOUSE, #Psychology