404 Brain Not Found. It was all a sort of a daze for the last couple days. If my posts are not already weird, they may start to become that way. Suppose, to explain the change in mood is like a change in persona, one person may be there, however that person may feel out of sorts and act or say things that are not characteristic.
Suppose you had an issue for years, or if it was just a new one that caught your attention. Regardless, it still affects you and affects your performance and takes up mental real-estate.
Do not even say it because I know, not being all in all the time is a bad thing. You may not even realize something could be off before it is too late. There are elements in life that run away from you as they are not placed front and center of your attention. Well, if it is not too hard… Imagine this:
You just said screw it, you still continued to purchase the affiliate product and continue on idle. What a waste, really but I have this newfound thing that if I talk to someone I blank, I try a little harder and I have the feeling of losing control of my urinary sphincter. No, I am not in a life/death situation but my body likes to think it is and initial the fight or flight response. No clue how or where this anxiety came from but the only thing here is that I do, in fact have it and it makes the simplest of tasks arduous.
I can talk about some really impressive products which do, in fact work and not only do they work but have changed lives. The thinking here, is that it is easy to talk about coffee, summer drinks, traveling or about products that are taking over the market. How easy, you ask? Supposedly anyone with a pulse can do the business but not everyone with a pulse will succeed. You have to stay consistent and continue working your daily method of operation. Though I think my stupor is coming to a screeching halt with My Daily Choice hemp based CBD produts are coming back and you will not hear the end of that! It is our answer; as you cannot spell Cannabis or Canada without “can” and we are certainly capable here!
Change of Heart
On the order of succession comes setting your goals. Though, to be honest this goal-setting thing that everyone else has not exactly been my forté. I always lived my life on a moment’s notice and have lived as though no amount of time is guaranteed as there was always the idea that some accident will take my life rendering any plans null and void. I do not want loose ends, so I learned to never make any goals long term. Short term motions are great, but anything long term I just don’t see so it never actualizes itself. It is interesting, really I do wish to travel the world and have a successful business but when it comes to getting married or pregnant I always tell people that it is someone else’s fantasy and do not see that happening to myself. You quickly become tired of the “you will change your mind” or those “are you sure, because you may regret it.” Yes, I am sure and I have thought about it and the more I become certain to continue on my contraceptives because the stakes are too high to chance someone else’s life to it, prevention is the best method here to avoid a scare or emergency actions. If I change my heart and decide to have a family, adoption will always be the first option.
I have always had some polarized opinions on families and adopting. Some say that it just does not feel real unless it is one of yours or that you must pass down your lineage as your legacy. Others just say that their lives were not complete up until that point. My take is that parenthood is not for everyone, and that is okay. Just like the desire to pursue a career or lifestyle. To me, parenthood is a choice, and not one to take lightheartedly like what you want to wear today or what restaurant to go to this time. Pregnancy does not appeal to me, at all, all I see it is pregnancy is a completely avoidable peril and does not dictate you or your competency as a person. Plus, there are more ways to grow a family, which can include things like adoption or fostering. My body is not an incubator and I would have to get off all medicines to even try, which is just downright irresponsible. I have the same perspective with humans and adopting a pet. There are plenty out there who just want to go to a loving family. To me, I have no need to subject myself to any of it, and I certainly do not have to contribute to our overcrowding by creating a whole new person when there are plenty in foster care. Plus, I have enough pain to deal with fibromyalgia that the mere concept just sounds like a death sentence, so hard pass on that. In fact, I would consider myself selfish to create another person and another hungry mouth when there is so much hunger. I cannot guarantee that my newborn would never experience adversity but I can guarantee that my family will accept the new addition with open arms and work to increase quality of life to someone already here instead of allowing the possibility to suffer to someone that never was. Suppose, it falls under the metrics if causing as little suffering (if not avoiding) it as practicable and practical. To some, this may be extreme to lead a vegan lifestyle or lacking the desire of wanting to endure pregnancy and childbirth and the next several years to forge productive members of society.
Funny thinking about my childhood memories. At one point, my favourite number was 10 and I liked hairdressing so the general mantra was that I will grow up to cut hair and have 10 kids. Yeah, then I grew up… Ideas and concepts change. 5 years ago, I never thought that I would become a vegan but here I was celebrating 2 years this spring. Well, you can really say that I have had part of my childhood dream come true… Except replace the 10 humans with cute, furry four legged companion that do not talk back or complain. My cats give me unconditional love and it has got to the point that I love them more than my own self. Interesting concept, eh to think that about a cat… Then you think about how small in the universe we all are. I find my existence humbling, rather than anything else, special but not more than anyone else. Oh, yes of course I am known for being a compassionate and caring person, but for some reason there seems to be the idea that some of my actions are not typically regarded as such. No, I don’t hate children just because I have no desire to have my own, I want to work with children in my medical career to work towards optimizing their health but I don’t think having a little person running around and destroying half the house in the time it takes for a person to use the restroom is really my cup of tea. I like my me time, and having children will not afford this freedom. I love and adore my cats and treat them like children, well they do depend on me and to that, I am mom to a clouder and I would not have it any other way.
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